It's hard being a dad with a mental maturity level of a twelve year old

Well it seems I don't learn from past experiences... I believe that makes me insane, in that I do the same thing over and expect a different outcome.

Well we hit Centreville for the second time this year. The boys love it and well me I like it because the boys do but the crowds drive me right mental, like keep all sharp objects away from me mental. Even though my mental sate is questionable I still am able to retain my keen sense of observation. I was waiting in line like so many heads of cattle waiting at the abbatoir, and I see a fellow who looked like he's done well for himself. He's probably mid 40's and is clad in everything with a brand name right down to the Rolex watch. One small issue though which in my not so humble opinion ruins the whole image, one sock Adidas and the other with a lovely Nike swoosh. Douche bag, when you get dress make sure your socks match it's the little details that can make or break an image I mean I can go into debt to grab a Rolex and buy all kinds of brand name clothes but if you don't polish the image you still look like a friggen dork regardless of how much money you spend or have. Well needless to say this put a giggle into me for a good portion of the day.

So what else did I encounter... oh the infamous "I need to pee" whilst in the middle of nowhere even though we are on Queens Quay. Friggen restaurants with thier nazi attitudes regarding their washrooms. Yes I understand every flush of the toilet costs money not a lot but it does cost. I understand you only want to let people who consume what ever you sell use it. He's a six year old. You as a restaurant or a cafe should be honoured that I as a parent deemed your establishment worthy of accepting my son's urine, that I saw your restaurant and thought it would be clean enough for the highest of highnesses. Ungrateful wretches that man the consumer world retail outlets.

So all in all the kids behaved reasonably well for the day we DVD'd them in the car on the ride home so it was peaceful. As it was nearing 7:30 we decided a restaurant meal would be a good idea rather than waiting to get home and cook something. East Side Mario's was the choice of the woman in charge, so that is where we go. We get there and it is pretty quiet being that it is a Sunday night and fairly late. So they seat us at a gigantic booth, I mean this could seat 8 people, we are only two adults and two children and neither Dianna or I are particularly large. So the boy side one aside on the booth and out come the barrage of toys that my wife carries with her at all times. Instead of giving only one or two to David she gives the whole bag of cars to him. Well that is just an invitation for him to mimic a 15 car pileup on the 401. This of course means that you have to have some go over the edge in a firey explosion. So the cars start their clattering decent into the bowels of darkness that lay beneath the table. My six year old finds this very entertaining. Good, he can climb under the table and pick them up. So off I go on my little rant to the young one to sit, be quiet, behave and what have you and I am staring at him with my best daddy death stare. I believe his response was "vroom" which at that point made a blood vessel in my left eye explode. This was enough to set my wife into a fit of attempted concealed laughter. You know what I am talking about that laugh people do when they knbow they aren't supposed to laugh where it looks like their body is dry heaving but they have a smile on their face... yeah that one. Well that pushed me over the edge, it was at that point that I wanted no more of my children or wife at that time. I said, to know one in particular, "Daddy is off duty please direct any and all inquiries to mommy for the remainder of the evening." Which of course at this point my six year old asks what's an inquiry. I pointed to my wife and took a sip of my beer.

So my wife has about a minute of dealing with the two year old before she ops for a high chair intervention program. At least this way the little minion is contained. So the rest of the meal is somewhat uneventful except they brought David his dinner in a dish shaped like a boat. I mean WTF are they thinking? As a parent we teach them not to play with their food and these sick bastards think it's a good idea to use a boat dish for a two year old's meal? Mental, I tell you, mental. We near the end of the meal and David is running out of steam and is leaning back in his high chair and there is this waitress walking by and stops and says, "Hey little man whatcha doing? We be chillin'?" Again WTF goes through my head, here is this waitress not much older than 18. didn't that phrase die a horrible death about 10 years ago or is that still cool? She then when into a babbling tirade of how she looks like a librarian and comes out with "we be chillin'" maybe she is more librarian like then I thought it would be pretty nerdy to use that phrase long after it had lost it's cool... Maybe the babbling tirade was because of the look of shock and awe on my face for her uttering such an atrocity at my child. Or maybe it was just David with his nonchalant fuck you look he had... I dunno...

Awwww crap...

German scientists have broken the speed of light...


So my friggen light switch is going to operate slower now... perfect just perfect....

Just call me project boy...

Well it seems that for me being on the edge of 36 is where ambition kicks in. I am up early every weekend morning even before my kids wake up. I am doing projects around the house all the time. Either refinishing wooden furniture or fixing up something or maintaining the appearance of the house. Dianna must love it because she no doesn't see me lying about all day Saturday and Sunday. I haven't even picked up the Wiimote in weeks. I loved playing the Wii yet lately have no desire for it. I have become a junky for the sense of accomplishment that comes with finishing a project.

I love the sense of pride I get from finishing something like a painting job so that it it is noticeable by the people walking by... I just wish I had more time to do things around the house.

It all just takes time I suppose and maybe I should be doing something other than blogging...

Halfway point of summer....

I know some people start summer holidays long before we do. My wife and kids basically start summer vacation at the beginning of July. I just realized that we just had our August long weekend and that pretty much marks the mid point of the summer.

So far my boys have been to Center Island, A day out with Thomas and a local beach and they have also been to various play places like Chuck E Cheese and a place called "Kidnetics". They have also been through a two week swimming lesson course, and Thomas is learning to play the keyboard.

When I was a kid it was go out and play. Sure we had vacation time but that was go to the cottage and go out and play. I am kind of in a dumbfounded state thinking of all the things my kids do just to keep them entertained over the summer. I really am beginning to think that maybe our youth these days are so apathetic towards everything is because we fail in letting them play creatively. We as parents are paranoid that someone will come along and snatch our child away from us. I think we fail to give our children credit with regards to their own intelligence. Children do as do adult have a built in fight or flight response. We as parents I believe have hindered that. We make our kids be nice to strangers and then we shield them from all the harms in the world. Thinking that one day we'll let them go and experience it. Yet when that time comes they rarely want to as they have "done" everything virtually through video games or the internet. They seem to have lost the idea of experiencing life.

I think I have some work to do with my boys...

Time give me time...

Is it bad when you find you are lacking time to blog? And you feel bad about it? Like some how you are letting people (I think I am up to 4 people reading this) down, that want to read my tripe and drivel in hopes that I might make them laugh? I really need to get over myself...

So last Saturday the family and I headed out to Wasaga Beach for a day of fun and sun in the waves and sand. Well we didn't take any pictures, we had the camera but decided to keep it hidden away from sand and what have you. Really is a shame considering the eye candy that we came across. I am quite sure they didn't look like that when I was a lad. Funny thing the beach is... as many beautiful people you get in a skimpy outfits you get probably more of people who should be wearing skimpy outfits. I mean I am not body beautiful... at best I am body so-so. The difference lies in that I know that I shouldn't wear a banana hammock... while some of the other revelers of sun and fun don't quite acknowledge they should maybe cover up a bit. I saw one lady probably mid 40's to early 50's in a bikini... a bright fucking red bikini. I doubt she had seen the sun in quite some time either judging from her pale complexion although I do believe they are selling SPF 6000 for the Scottish in the world now. Anyway I often wonder if people realize they just shouldn't be dressed like that and do it anyway or if they just don't realize they don't have the physique that they had when they were nineteen. So some jokes were had regarding this poor woman's appearance. Then I was subjected to the man boobs. I saw a young couple wandering along the beach and the girl would have done better to cover up a bit more, she was probably on her way to becoming the lady in the red bikini but she wasn't grotesque or anything... kind of on the fence and falling off on the wrong side. The guy who was really dating out of his league had the complexion of a carton of white milk. Marshmallows are more tan than this boy was. The thing that really caught my attention was his little man boobies. At first I was thinking that maybe there might be some hormonal imbalance but then though nope little pudding boy has never done anything more physical than rockin' out on his Playstation. Those man boobies are of his own creation. I must admit I was briefly in awe of them as the bounced with every step and they settled to their natural state just in time to be jiggled by the next step. I am quite sure that they were only maybe a cup size or two smaller than those of who I assume was his girlfriend. I do often wonder what goes on in people's heads when they hit the beach. Do people think it's their right to subject others to their exposed flesh? I am not saying everyone should wear a moo moo but some modesty should be exercised. And hey lets face it a bit of plain old exercise couldn't hurt either. So anyway those were a few of the things that made me go hmmmm... Common sense it does a body good...