What do holidays and Christmas mean...

Every year I stop and think what is all the fuss for? Myself being Catholic it's all about Jesus. The birth of the Saviour of mankind (well if you subscribe to that line of religion anyway). See being Catholic I am pretty ignorant of the ways of the other religions. I know Judaism has Hanukkah and I understand the menorah and it's significance but I don't get how hanging out in a desert translates into a festival. Then there is Diwali which I understand to be a festival of lights but again I don't really know why. I know even less of Kwanza. So when you look at all the different religions out there isn't interesting that they all have some sort of celebration right around the end of the year? Now surely they didn't have super accurate record keeping 2000 years ago so is it possible that all these celebrations are about the same event either directly or indirectly? Sure the Bible, the Koran and all the other religious gospels were written by man. What if they are just different interpretations on what really happened. Surely you have always heard two sides to every story and some where in between lies the truth. What if the actual gospels of the various religions were... news, so to speak. We know that todays newscasters are all about spreading panic through misrepresentation of stories, blowing things all out of proportion all in the effort to up ratings and readership. What if we all worship the same God and all the fighting in the name of religious zealotry is really just over someones interpretation of a news story 2000 years, or more, ago. Makes you wonder if we are just really irritating God with our own stupidity and basically driving a wedge between Him and us. I know the Bible says I am supposed to go out and preach the Gospel to those in need of it. In all honesty I really don't think God needs my help other than for me to try to be a good person. If I am a good person, I am setting a good example for my kids to be good people, and continuing the cycle for my children to raise good children them selves. I think if God wants someone to do His bidding He will get in touch with them, just I would expect Him to contact me if He wants me to do the door to door thing preaching my religion.

So in our day and age of political correctness we are inundated with "seasons greetings" what the hell is that supposed to mean? Are we greeting the seasons? Is that really more PC than Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah? Could it not be construed that we are in fact following some sort of Wiccan or Druidism type greeting, as both of those religions tend to worship the earth and nature? I don't know I am happy to hear different greetings I think that you should wear your religion on your sleeve greet people with your particular religious greeting. Be proud of your faith what ever it may be and in turn let others be proud of theirs. It is only through understanding and acceptance that perhaps your viewpoint may not be the only one that is right that the world can and will be a better place. Embrace the diversity in the world, stop worrying that your beliefs will offend someone else, they are your beliefs and as a human being on this hunk of dirt you have a right (whether you believe it is God given or just a sentient right) to believe in what you want to believe. I feel bad for the people in the retail world where they are not allowed to greet people with Merry Christmas or what ever greeting they would choose to use. I always wish them a Merry Christmas, you should see their faces brighten when they hear it and they manage to squeak out a "Merry Christmas" back to me the whole time looking to see if their supervisor is in earshot. Should they be persecuted because of how they want to greet people? Should stores dictate how the customer is greeted? If I wish someone whom is of the Jewish faith a Merry Christmas I want them to smile back at me and wish me a Happy Hanukkah. That in my opinion would be a great exchange of beliefs in just two short greetings.

Of course this is really just my wish for peace on earth, so that instead of having all the military might in the world and all the money that is spent on those devices of destruction could be spent on helping people instead of killing them. I think it is a nice thought, but I am at a loss as to how to put it in to action.

On that note I will bid you all a very Merry Christmas!

Crap I am becoming old...and cantankerous

So I am driving home Sunday afternoon and I call my wife to see if she would like anything while I am on my way home, that is code word for would you like something that I can get throw a drive through. I'm not lazy by any means I do lots around the house and I work a lot to help provide for my family, but when I am en route home I really don't want to get out of the car.

Anyway back to the phone call to the loving wife... She says sure get me a Cafe Mocha and get a vanilla dip doughnut for boy #1. I ask her what about the other one she replies that he has already been binging on sugar today so he doesn't need any more. So I am OK cool I'll see you when I get home then.

I wheel into the Tim Horton's near the house and I wait my turn in the already long line up for the drive through. I think no problem they usually have pretty quick people working the drive through. Well I sit there and I sit there. I am looking at the line from the ordering speaker to the pickup window start to separate from the line to the ordering speaker... Then the line at the pick up window is gone there is only a van sitting at the ordering speaker. And it sits and it sits and when it is done sitting it sits for some more... It felt like he was sitting there for an eternity I estimate the actual time to be just under 5 minutes, this is not acceptable behaviour for drive through activity. So I finally see this inconsiderate S.O.B move his gas guzzling monstrosity out of the way and up to the pickup window.... and he sits...and sits. I watch the three other cars behind order and move up behind the inconsiderate jackass. and I am getting kind of excited at this point because I am moving and not just because people in front of me have given up and are going in the store now. I am really moving in the line up (yay me!). So I look to the pick up window again it is still the same blue van. Dammit. WTF? This guy must have ordered lunch for an entire office, his bill must be $70.00 again unacceptable behaviour, if you have a large complex order get you lazy ass out of your car and go in the store it will be easier on everyone around you. So I finally see the van inch forward about 3 feet only to see the brake lights flash on again and the jackass gets out of his vehicle to walk back to the pick up window. Fuck me sideways what now? Apparently they forgot part of his order so he had to go back to get his cluster of sugar for his whining brat in the back seat or else his wife who is sitting beside him won't give him his balls back so he can watch the football game in the afternoon. So I see him standing at the window he is making all the stupid "I'm sorry" faces at the car directly behind him. Well my window is already rolled down and I am quite set off right now. I have had enough of waiting I have been in line for close to ten minutes now. So I spurt off the first thing that comes to mind, "Go in the store for a large order you JACKASS!" I know he heard me because I saw him looking around to see where it came from and his stupid "I'm sorry" face went away.

It was at that moment that I transitioned from accepting middle aged man to cantankerous aging white guy. I am only 36...

Sweeney Todd had no skill

Every wonder if the story of Sweeney Todd isn't really one about a serial killer but just some poor schmuck trying to make a living as a barber and he was just really really bad at it?

I picked up a straight razor (also known as a cut throat or lesser known as an open razor) from my barber a few days ago. Well it is definitely a steep learning curve on these bad boys. I have acquired a few little nicks but nothing that required stitches or a trip to the ER, much to the delight of my wife. I had to lay down the law with my 6 year old with regards to touching daddy's things.

The razor is an interesting little contraption where it takes a normal razor blade but snapped in half so there is no need for a strop or a stone to hone the edge. This might take some of the fun out of the whole idea behind using a straight razor for some at there certainly a ritual aspect to getting your razor's edge ready for use. I like the no nonsense approach of the replaceable edge perhaps when I develop a level of competency I will invest in a true straight razor.

In terms of ease of use I find that short strokes are the single most important technique a shaver can use. I have used a blade for years as the electric version or the razor, in my opinion, is about as useful as tits on a bull. I have long used the Gillette Sensor Excel brand and I love them they are simple to use and do a pretty good job at what I need them to do. What I dislike is the price of them. I buy my blades at Costco so I get a reasonable deal but still they are expensive you are looking at a dollar and change for a blade for the Gillette system as opposed to about 20 cents a blade for a regular razor blade and I get to chop that in half. So from a money stand point they are much cheaper. It does take a little bit of work to get out the bathroom with out looking like you've been punched in the face by Wolverine, but there is a certain satisfaction after a shave with a straight razor. Kind of like connecting with the ancestors of long ago.

Well I am out, with a smooth shave to boot...

So with one weekend down

Several billion more to go. I am learning some very interesting things and feel good about everything that I am doing right now. It just feels right. You know how you can second guess all your choices and always wonder if what you did in the past is the right thing? Well that all stopped for me yesterday, I know I am doing the right things and I am where I am supposed to be and who I am supposed to be with and have all the things I am supposed to have. I am who I am supposed to be. For a very long time I have always felt uncomfortable in my own skin. Sure I may have not shown it but yesterday I felt like I was finally me. I don't know what it was because I didn't do anything really different I worked, then did a tech call after work and then came home and hung out with my wife for the night. Nothing out of the the ordinary just me being me... So I don't know why I felt better about it. But then again my thoughts and processes are odd to begin with so maybe I am just finally figuring out how I think... who knows...

My writing is suffering though, I have not put finger to keyboard in a creative sense for some time now... I miss it. I will have to make more time for it some where... Now just because I haven't written anything doesn't mean I am not still building the story in my head... kind of like high school when I would write a whole essay the night before... how long does it take to type out 300-400 pages? 48 hours? I should get to it if I am going to make my time line... sigh the bane of my existence is procrastination

The sacrifices we make...

Well, I have been pretty busy the last little while. I have had lots to do and not much time to do it. My weekends are now pretty much booked... I have taken on a second job. I have talked things over with my wife and she is supportive of me but fears I am burning the candle at both ends. I fear that too. I told her the only thing I can do is try. We have a debt that we are responsible for above and beyond our mortgage. We will have to come up with some money for a car for her soon and I really want to avoid financing if I can. So that is why I have got this second job. I am hoping I can deal with it and make the best of my time with my boys as it will be reduced because of working on the weekends. I guess I just have to make the best of the time that I do have with them and make it the best time I can with them until things get better for me. The weird part is that I am not doing this to get more I am doing this so my kids don't have to deal with less. Not that they are spoiled terribly or anything but I just want to be able to give them all the things I can when they ask for them. I still make them wait for stuff and they don't get everything they ask for but it's nice to be able to get them stuff... Fuck I don't know...it's complicated...

So that's where I am lost and picking up second jobs and trying to be the big family provider...

Screw you Mattel!

You corporate greedy bastards!

Everyone is well aware of the whole lead paint scare. This came about from conglomerate companies trying to gain as much profit as possible on sub standard over priced products that have been marketed to death to various children ranging in ages from 1 - 6 years. Thanks Mattel for making my life hell, making my children's grandparents feel like they have been poisoning their own grandchildren with kindness. Thank you for ruining my faith that Mattel was a stand up company that actually had some integrity.

So everyone gets in a big panic about the possibility that their child has been scarfing down lead paint. We go through the vast list of toys shown and discover we have a few of them. In fact some of them were given as birthday gifts to my son (from their grandparents). So we fill out all the appropriate forms and get a postage label and send it off to Mattel like good consumers are supposed to do. Well we wait and wait and wait and wait. Pretty close to 3 months my kid has not been able to play with his beloved Diego Mountain play set thing. I finally receive it back. Did I get a replacement? No. Did I get a small token toy to show that Mattel as a provider of quality educational type toys actually gives a shit about their consumers? No. All I got was a lousy letter in a box with the original toy stating that this toy wasn't affected by the lead paint recall. A fucking letter that states Mattel is returning my unaffected toy as it was received at no expense to me. What fucking asshole wrote that line? At no expense to me? Fucking right no expense to me I didn't start the fucking recall. How on God's green earth would I even begin to be responsible for any expenses incurred for some soulless corporation's mistake? How about a little compensation for the inconvenience? I'm not a hard guy to please, just a small token peace offering... a five dollar gift certificate... a few hot wheels cars. It wouldn't have to be big just a token action to say we're sorry we screwed up in our ever lasting quest to make more money and it skewed our judgement and it won't happen again.

Well you know what Mattel? Fuck You.

There will not be another Mattel made item allowed in this home as long as I draw breath. You fucked up and now I as a consumer am making my stand.

Childhood innocence

I was asked to go to the park today by my 6 year old. I honestly wasn't really in the mood but he asked and I have a problem denying him anything. I said I was going to sit on the bench and listen to some music. The park was empty which I thought was odd considering it was a beautiful day. He told me that he was really hoping that there would be some one at the park to play with, there was not one child to be seen. So he just looked at me and said well I guess I'll just play by myself. So I said OK I'll be here on the bench.

I watched him jump, climb, slide and swing. He dug, skipped and kicked. He hung, twisted and turned. While he was digging and letting the sand fall back to the earth I watched him and made a simple wish. A wish that childhood innocence could last longer than it does. Maybe I am naive and lost in a world of wishful thinking but I would love to see it stretch well in to late teens. Kids just seem to not be able to be kids anymore. I was robbed of my childhood at ten. My parents got a divorce and I had much more to deal with than regular kids at that time. Kids are exposed to so much at such a young age and there just seems to be some much more pushed on them. They are exposed to violence on television in cartoons, they are exposed to drugs in the media in the news, they are exposed to alternative life styles in day to day life. Sure sometimes it seems like they don't notice it but you know they pick up on everything. I remember the time I used the word "fuck"... he was a year and a half old and he repeated it for the next 30 minutes. They hear and see everything. I love both of my boys and I want them to experience things when they are ready not when some one else thinks they are ready.

I have neighbours that have older kids and their young boy has come home with all the wrong ideas about girls and he's only ten. Why does his friend who is only ten know all this? Where are his parents in this? Even if he has older brothers or sisters he shouldn't be exposed to this he should be still concerned with building the biggest ramp for his Hot Wheels cars or where to take GI Joe for his next adventure. Worry about what happens to the spiders in the garden when winter comes. He should be worrying about kid stuff.

I know the perception of how the family unit comes about is out of whack. My wife was a supply teacher for a period of time before she became a full time teacher. She took a long term assignment of a grade two class. There was a little girl in that class that asked if she was married, she said yes and showed her a picture of us on our wedding day. The little girl looked at the picture and asked to see a picture of her baby. My wife said she didn't have a baby. The little girl looked at her puzzled and said, no you should have a baby if you are married you have a baby before you get married. My wife taught that little girl in a Catholic school. A religion that is supposed to teach abstinence until marriage. I know that not everyone will abstain and God knows I didn't. The flesh is weak and God knows that. To skew a young girl's perception of the family unit like that though just seems so perverse. The morals and the values these days are out of line and I believe it is all in the effort to make more money and desire to fill ones life with things rather than good people, media moguls and conglomerates push the envelope to see what they can air on television or print in newspapers. News channels broadcast tragedy before they broadcast good. All in the effort to bump ratings or increase sales.

How do we stop this consumption of bad influences that is become our society? How do I prolong my boys innocence?

Well did you miss me?

So I didn't go anywhere I just didn't feel like sharing what was going on over the past little while. Some of you who actually read this and I have regular contact with know what the issues were but I am not going to rehash them out here. If you want/must know you can email me a 250 word essay why you need to know...

So what to rant about today... TV I hate TV sure there are some great shows on it I prefer the Discovery Channel, but my boys prefer Teletoon and Treehouse. Both of which I can't stand, especially Teletoon. Admittedly I have watched some shows on it such as Robot Chicken and Tripping the Rift just simply to amuse and titillate but those spurts are usually short lived. I have often wondered how people can get so into TV so that they must schedule their lives around it. I understand the infirm have a need for it but they don't have to watch it all the time they could pick up a book and read. Play a game or even create something artistic.

I think my biggest issue is I am being led when I watch TV. I am being pulled along to see someone's opinion on something or how someone sees the world. Sure there are some great stories out there and some wonderful documentaries. You still need to have a strong enough mind to make your own conclusions on the evidence submitted. I think that watching TV is breaking down that ability for people to think, to deduce and to conclude. For instance my parents watch TV nearly non stop when they are home. I can't have an intelligent conversation for more than 10 minutes with either of them as they don't have the attention span or they are lacking in the cognitive functions required to take part in the conversation.

Sadly my oldest loves TV, he would rather watch it than anything else. I often wonder if that is my fault. Do I spend too much time reading? Do I not encourage him enough to be able to play and use his imagination in that? I have been reading to him Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone which he is enjoying. We don't read together every night but we try to make time for it 3-4 times a week. I am no story teller or a public reader by any stretch of the imagination but he enjoys it and so do I, so I suppose that is what matters.

I wonder about the societal implications that television will have on the children of today. I know there are affects already happening right now with the desire for instant gratification syndrome we have developed in the teens of today. Will it worsen with the 0-8 year olds of today? I think as parents we need to really monitor what our children do and have a greater impact in what they watch and when they can watch TV. I am not so against the idea of watching movies but the TV shows where they just seem so senseless.

I don't know maybe I am out of line in my thinking, maybe I expect too much from my children, from other people children...

Well so much has happened since the last post...

Ha I call bullshit on that one...

OK so not much has gone on. I helped my mom close up her trailer on the 15th and I went to the zoo on the 16th (teacher's day I got in free). I haven't had much time to really contemplate my existence on this hunk of dirt. For those that know me they know I analyze things to death and when they are dead then I can perform an autopsy on them and really begin to understand them. Well OK maybe I am not that bad, but I am close. My Achilles heel so to speak is my constant thought wandering I do through out the day, usually when I should be concentrating on something else.

I'm a dreamer and I suppose I always will be I have fleeting thoughts of what I want to do with my life from moment to moment...

Will you leave a mark on this planet? (part deux)

OK so maybe it isn't a continuation of my previous entry... I just wanted to use (part deux)....

So some of you may know I have an addiction. Yes I have an addiction... me who beat smoking in one day. I who have tried many hard drugs and was able to avoid getting hooked.

I am addicted to ink. I like getting tattoos a lot. I got another one just yesterday and I have another appointment later on in October. I am either going to get traditional Japanese air line to fill out my half sleeve or I am going to do something on my other arm like a triple cross arrangement or some light rays around an existing tattoo I have... I guess I need to decide that...

Funny thing about tattoos depending on the age of people you are dealing with you can still be perceived as a criminal. I have seen many people who are a little on the older side react negatively to my choices I have made, and not just oh I don't like tattoos kind of negative. I can appreciate that tattoos are not for everyone and I am OK with that. We all make choices and not everyone makes the same choice. However when the prejudices make people think one way before knowing a person that's just kind of sad.

Will you leave a mark on this planet?

I have often wondered if I will leave a mark on this planet when I leave it to meet my maker. Aside from the obvious of leaving behind family, which eventually will forget who the hell you are as the generations pass, and friends, which again will die and you again will be forgotten, will anyone know who I am? I mean will blogger and my blog be here for years or even decades after i die? Will what I write make a difference in someones life? Will they think similar thoughts to me? Will there be some answer somewhere in this blog that an unknown person far into the future is searching for and BAM there is is in some inane ramblings of a thirtysomething's life? Do I have dreams of grandeur? Do I have my head in the clouds? Are my feet even grounded in reality? Do I have it in me to succeed in life? Do I have the internal fortitude to continue doing what I think is right even though I feel like I should give up? Is it true that when I think I am farthest from my goal that I am actually the closest? Should I start answering my own questions?

I need to poop....

It's hard being a dad with a mental maturity level of a twelve year old

Well it seems I don't learn from past experiences... I believe that makes me insane, in that I do the same thing over and expect a different outcome.

Well we hit Centreville for the second time this year. The boys love it and well me I like it because the boys do but the crowds drive me right mental, like keep all sharp objects away from me mental. Even though my mental sate is questionable I still am able to retain my keen sense of observation. I was waiting in line like so many heads of cattle waiting at the abbatoir, and I see a fellow who looked like he's done well for himself. He's probably mid 40's and is clad in everything with a brand name right down to the Rolex watch. One small issue though which in my not so humble opinion ruins the whole image, one sock Adidas and the other with a lovely Nike swoosh. Douche bag, when you get dress make sure your socks match it's the little details that can make or break an image I mean I can go into debt to grab a Rolex and buy all kinds of brand name clothes but if you don't polish the image you still look like a friggen dork regardless of how much money you spend or have. Well needless to say this put a giggle into me for a good portion of the day.

So what else did I encounter... oh the infamous "I need to pee" whilst in the middle of nowhere even though we are on Queens Quay. Friggen restaurants with thier nazi attitudes regarding their washrooms. Yes I understand every flush of the toilet costs money not a lot but it does cost. I understand you only want to let people who consume what ever you sell use it. He's a six year old. You as a restaurant or a cafe should be honoured that I as a parent deemed your establishment worthy of accepting my son's urine, that I saw your restaurant and thought it would be clean enough for the highest of highnesses. Ungrateful wretches that man the consumer world retail outlets.

So all in all the kids behaved reasonably well for the day we DVD'd them in the car on the ride home so it was peaceful. As it was nearing 7:30 we decided a restaurant meal would be a good idea rather than waiting to get home and cook something. East Side Mario's was the choice of the woman in charge, so that is where we go. We get there and it is pretty quiet being that it is a Sunday night and fairly late. So they seat us at a gigantic booth, I mean this could seat 8 people, we are only two adults and two children and neither Dianna or I are particularly large. So the boy side one aside on the booth and out come the barrage of toys that my wife carries with her at all times. Instead of giving only one or two to David she gives the whole bag of cars to him. Well that is just an invitation for him to mimic a 15 car pileup on the 401. This of course means that you have to have some go over the edge in a firey explosion. So the cars start their clattering decent into the bowels of darkness that lay beneath the table. My six year old finds this very entertaining. Good, he can climb under the table and pick them up. So off I go on my little rant to the young one to sit, be quiet, behave and what have you and I am staring at him with my best daddy death stare. I believe his response was "vroom" which at that point made a blood vessel in my left eye explode. This was enough to set my wife into a fit of attempted concealed laughter. You know what I am talking about that laugh people do when they knbow they aren't supposed to laugh where it looks like their body is dry heaving but they have a smile on their face... yeah that one. Well that pushed me over the edge, it was at that point that I wanted no more of my children or wife at that time. I said, to know one in particular, "Daddy is off duty please direct any and all inquiries to mommy for the remainder of the evening." Which of course at this point my six year old asks what's an inquiry. I pointed to my wife and took a sip of my beer.

So my wife has about a minute of dealing with the two year old before she ops for a high chair intervention program. At least this way the little minion is contained. So the rest of the meal is somewhat uneventful except they brought David his dinner in a dish shaped like a boat. I mean WTF are they thinking? As a parent we teach them not to play with their food and these sick bastards think it's a good idea to use a boat dish for a two year old's meal? Mental, I tell you, mental. We near the end of the meal and David is running out of steam and is leaning back in his high chair and there is this waitress walking by and stops and says, "Hey little man whatcha doing? We be chillin'?" Again WTF goes through my head, here is this waitress not much older than 18. didn't that phrase die a horrible death about 10 years ago or is that still cool? She then when into a babbling tirade of how she looks like a librarian and comes out with "we be chillin'" maybe she is more librarian like then I thought it would be pretty nerdy to use that phrase long after it had lost it's cool... Maybe the babbling tirade was because of the look of shock and awe on my face for her uttering such an atrocity at my child. Or maybe it was just David with his nonchalant fuck you look he had... I dunno...

Awwww crap...

German scientists have broken the speed of light...


So my friggen light switch is going to operate slower now... perfect just perfect....

Just call me project boy...

Well it seems that for me being on the edge of 36 is where ambition kicks in. I am up early every weekend morning even before my kids wake up. I am doing projects around the house all the time. Either refinishing wooden furniture or fixing up something or maintaining the appearance of the house. Dianna must love it because she no doesn't see me lying about all day Saturday and Sunday. I haven't even picked up the Wiimote in weeks. I loved playing the Wii yet lately have no desire for it. I have become a junky for the sense of accomplishment that comes with finishing a project.

I love the sense of pride I get from finishing something like a painting job so that it it is noticeable by the people walking by... I just wish I had more time to do things around the house.

It all just takes time I suppose and maybe I should be doing something other than blogging...

Halfway point of summer....

I know some people start summer holidays long before we do. My wife and kids basically start summer vacation at the beginning of July. I just realized that we just had our August long weekend and that pretty much marks the mid point of the summer.

So far my boys have been to Center Island, A day out with Thomas and a local beach and they have also been to various play places like Chuck E Cheese and a place called "Kidnetics". They have also been through a two week swimming lesson course, and Thomas is learning to play the keyboard.

When I was a kid it was go out and play. Sure we had vacation time but that was go to the cottage and go out and play. I am kind of in a dumbfounded state thinking of all the things my kids do just to keep them entertained over the summer. I really am beginning to think that maybe our youth these days are so apathetic towards everything is because we fail in letting them play creatively. We as parents are paranoid that someone will come along and snatch our child away from us. I think we fail to give our children credit with regards to their own intelligence. Children do as do adult have a built in fight or flight response. We as parents I believe have hindered that. We make our kids be nice to strangers and then we shield them from all the harms in the world. Thinking that one day we'll let them go and experience it. Yet when that time comes they rarely want to as they have "done" everything virtually through video games or the internet. They seem to have lost the idea of experiencing life.

I think I have some work to do with my boys...

Time give me time...

Is it bad when you find you are lacking time to blog? And you feel bad about it? Like some how you are letting people (I think I am up to 4 people reading this) down, that want to read my tripe and drivel in hopes that I might make them laugh? I really need to get over myself...

So last Saturday the family and I headed out to Wasaga Beach for a day of fun and sun in the waves and sand. Well we didn't take any pictures, we had the camera but decided to keep it hidden away from sand and what have you. Really is a shame considering the eye candy that we came across. I am quite sure they didn't look like that when I was a lad. Funny thing the beach is... as many beautiful people you get in a skimpy outfits you get probably more of people who should be wearing skimpy outfits. I mean I am not body beautiful... at best I am body so-so. The difference lies in that I know that I shouldn't wear a banana hammock... while some of the other revelers of sun and fun don't quite acknowledge they should maybe cover up a bit. I saw one lady probably mid 40's to early 50's in a bikini... a bright fucking red bikini. I doubt she had seen the sun in quite some time either judging from her pale complexion although I do believe they are selling SPF 6000 for the Scottish in the world now. Anyway I often wonder if people realize they just shouldn't be dressed like that and do it anyway or if they just don't realize they don't have the physique that they had when they were nineteen. So some jokes were had regarding this poor woman's appearance. Then I was subjected to the man boobs. I saw a young couple wandering along the beach and the girl would have done better to cover up a bit more, she was probably on her way to becoming the lady in the red bikini but she wasn't grotesque or anything... kind of on the fence and falling off on the wrong side. The guy who was really dating out of his league had the complexion of a carton of white milk. Marshmallows are more tan than this boy was. The thing that really caught my attention was his little man boobies. At first I was thinking that maybe there might be some hormonal imbalance but then though nope little pudding boy has never done anything more physical than rockin' out on his Playstation. Those man boobies are of his own creation. I must admit I was briefly in awe of them as the bounced with every step and they settled to their natural state just in time to be jiggled by the next step. I am quite sure that they were only maybe a cup size or two smaller than those of who I assume was his girlfriend. I do often wonder what goes on in people's heads when they hit the beach. Do people think it's their right to subject others to their exposed flesh? I am not saying everyone should wear a moo moo but some modesty should be exercised. And hey lets face it a bit of plain old exercise couldn't hurt either. So anyway those were a few of the things that made me go hmmmm... Common sense it does a body good...

Quality not Quantity

Yesterday was the eldest's birthday. We did the day our with Thomas thing for him. It was a flippen 2 hour drive to get there and a 2 hour drive to get back. My wife made plans for us to meet my family at a restaurant at 5:30 pm, we had a 1pm train ride on Thomas and too much junk to see. Dianna though we would leave at 10am we didn't leave until about 10:20am the venue had moved so we had to find out where it moved to so that ate up more time I think we finally got in at 12:40pm. Then the friken train ride didn't go until 1:30pm. That left us a whopping hour to check out what the rest of the place was about. Thomas had a bit of fun on a bouncy castle and a hay stack maze. David picked a fight with another kid, the kid hit him David laughed and pounded him. The other kid wanted a piece of him but his dad stopped him. I think he knew David would smoke him. Thomas got a shot with Sir Topemhat it wasn't going to happen for David. So we had them play for a bit in the imagination station got them some hats and a Thomas a train whistle. Had them head out and David had a meltdown because he had to leave. The both crashed in the car shortly after, thankfully David slept the whole ride back.

Overall impression with a Day out with Thomas... it sucked. I think it would have been better if we weren't so rushed but even then I think it still would have sucked. It was set up in a dusty area. The lines to get on to the train were poorly organized, everything was grossly over priced. Frankly not worth the money. Just a really crappy experience. I would have had more fun with the kids playing with the Thomas the tank engine train set at home.

Nothing says high class hooker like a 12 pack and a sleeping bag

OK so I'll get to the title in a bit...

So wake up this morning with the plan to head to Centerville. So we got off to a bit of a slow start I wanted to be on the road at 9:30 we didn't really get rolling until 10:30 or so then had to stop get tickets and then I had to stop by the office before we got on our way.

Well we hit Toronto and well I hate Toronto. No strike that I don't hate Toronto I hate all the people in it. It's not that I hate people it's just that I feel a whole lot better when that aren't around. The do amuse me though and they make for some interesting anecdotes for my blog.

So anyway we hit Toronto I know of one place that I like to park at it is close to the ferry and I am a creature of habit I like to do the same thing over and over. Well because we got our sorry asses there so late the lot is full. Crap... OK I can deal right I mean I am almost thirty-six I'm a big boy. So I turn to Dianna "where do you want to park?" I get the blank stare... shit it's up to me. OK off I go to find parking in Toronto a city of 4.5 million that inflates to probably 6 million every working day, HA good luck. Well I find one parking lot that has space and the "attendant" (I used quotes because I can think of lots of names for him but none of them are nice) says to me in some broken sanskrit that he wanted my key to my car. Ummm let me think for a quarter second how about no, you can barely speak English I sure ain't handing over my car keys to you. So off I go to another parking lot I found one for $15 bucks fifteen dollars to park downtown that just seems so wrong on so many levels...

So I unpack the kids and their gear. Load the little one in his stroller and off we go. We are waiting for the ferry and this elderly Asian lady is like rubbing up against me like not once or twice but like a lot. I'm playing with my kids and junk and she's still rubbing up against me I am think WTF? Then I notice that she has a camera in her hand and is trying to take a pic of her, who I assume to be her, husband. He's got on the hip retro 80's beret, good look gramps...

On to the ferry we go. I took Thomas up on the second deck to look around and take some photos. I seriously do not get kids and fashion... There were some younger girls up, I would guess to be in the 13-15 year old range. They have the cropped shirts on with beer guts hanging out. Can they not see this in their mirror at home? Do people not look at themselves before they leave the house? Is the Seinfeld "skinny" mirror not just fiction? One kid looked like she was a giant muffin from Tim Horton's.

Get off the ferry an on to the island with no real distractions to speak of. Well except for one. Why for the love of all thing pure and sacred do people with nasty feet feel it is their right to wander about in public wearing sandals. I understand misshapen feet, mine are somewhat misshapen. If you are going to sear sandals get rid of the nasty dried skin, the gross callouses. Take a wood rasp to them if you have to but no one outside of your immediate family should ever see that. Oh and trim those flippin' toenails too. OK so I got the actual feet thing out of the way now we go on to shoe wear. Flip Flops are fine I have no problem with them but they are a cheap shoe so replace them every year. Seeing 5 years of filth slap against your crusty assed heel just ain't right. Second issue with footwear. Get shoes or sandals that fit. You feet need to have space around them... all the way around them. I don't want to see your crusty heel dragging on the ground as you walk and I sure as hell don't want to see a toe hanger.

So the rest of the day passed with me mostly yelling at the kids to sit down or stay in line. I ignored most of the people I came in contact with. There were some but they don't warrant mention in my blog, insignificant sub humans that they were.

Back on the ferry to get back to the mainland I come across what appears to be a family of burned out hippies. Well at least the father looks to be one and well the kids don't look to far off. Dad is wearing a tie dyed Woodstock '99 T shirt, cut off jeans, Airwalks with wool work socks and to top it off he has a big honkin' bandanna around his head that accentuates how large a 'fro he has going on. Just one of those things that makes you go hmmmm.

Back to the title of my blog entry. We were walking along the Queens Quay back to the car and we walk past a young lady, dressed quite nicely in heels and a pretty sun dress, carrying a sleeping bag and a twelve pack of bud. Well sometimes I have been known to forget to use my "inside thought" voice and words just shoot out of my mouth. So as I pass by I turn to Dianna and say, "nothing says high class hooker like a 12 pack and a sleeping bag." I love it when I get her with a zinger like that. Well she lost it and was laughing and of course my 6 year old wants to know know what a hooker is and what is so funny....

I really need to use my inside thoughts more effectively.

Things that make me laugh

OK things that make me laugh, believe me I need all the laughs I can get.

1. People falling, yeah I know it's mean but there is nothing funnier than some one bolting back up on their feet to check and see if anyone saw them tumble ass over teakettle.

2. Baby talk, no not that crap that freakish parents do to their children that make you want to vomit pure bile. The talk that kids who are learning how to speak do, where you can only make out maybe two words if you are lucky. That shit is funny to me

3. My mom, she's got to be one of the funniest ladies on the planet. She's so friggen nosy it just makes me giggle. (I get my people watching skillz from her)

4. The clumsiness of my wife, I mean who rubs their feet with baby oil then runs down a set of stairs?

5. The word moose, this stems from my creative writing class in high school, my teacher found it funny and every time I hear it I hear her laugh and that laugh in itself makes me chuckle.

6. Small penis jokes, I have a small penis so I get the humour in them, they are funny.

7. Older Vonage comercials, there is nothing better than the kid swinging a bat by a sliding glass door and the bat slipping out of his hands.

8. The creativity of some children, I mean cutting all the sulphur tips from matches and filling a baby food jar and lighting them genius pure genius... until dad turns the corner and catches you in his Ford LTD.

9. Anything that begins with "Hold my beer and watch this" You just know that is going to end with a trip to the emergency room.

10 Marketing like this,

I just like how Homer is looking at that poor sap possibly saying "excuse me but would you mind holding my doughnut for me? I see you have the perfect spot for it..."

Wine, Food and a White Dress

Went to a wedding last night and well too much booze too much food and a good time was had by all.

It's weird seeing some one go through all the things you have already experienced. I did the whole thing for my wedding (I so should have been gay). I remember my wedding day quite clearly all that was involved all that went wrong and all that went well. I wonder if they will have as a wonderful first eight years as I have. I don't even really know them at all but I ate their food and gave them a gift. My wife works with the new wife. She seemed like a nice enough person so why not.

It was interesting to see the varied range of people at her wedding. Although in my opinion she invited too many people that didn't really have a good time. Which in itself is sad. I remember my wedding and I remember we invited people we knew would have a good time. It's a celebration of the joining of two peoples lives, get up and dance about it. We got bitched at by the people we invited but we were paying the bill so we invited who we wanted to invite. If some one didn't like it too bad so sad. I guess they had fun they looked like they were bobbing around pretty good and having a good time. I guess that is the important part. Oh just a thought, why do they always get the brides sister to say a speech? They will cry and be reduced to a blubbering fool and never get to say what they really wanted to say in the first place. Sure everyone will say "oh that was so heartfelt" or something of the like but inside they are thinking "gawd what an emotional basket case I can understand why she is still single".

Anyway blog dawgs I am outtie...

It has been busy lately...

I have been doing all kinds of things with the kids. We got busy with the end of school and I forgot to blog. We got busy with the beginning of Summer vacation and I forgot to blog. So what's happening with me, well not much :D but Thomas has finished his gymnastics classes. He will move up a level next time around and do just boys gymnastics rather than the kinder gym he has been doing. He also started keyboard lessons which he likes but getting him to practice is another issue, we have to be right on top of him to get it done right... David is taking swimming lessons for the first time Thomas is there in the same time slot as well. but David seems to be really taking to it well very much like his brother. David is still much more of a doer then a talker. Thomas needs to explain everything and flog a dead horse every time he explains something. It gets tiresome and he seems to want to get the same level of attention that David gets, especially at dinner time, David is still teething so he gets a bit of preferential treatment like not having to finish all his dinner and Thomas thinks he can get away with it too. Then there is the "whatever" responses that you get when he's told how things will go. WTF? I thought I wasn't supposed to get this kind of response until he was 12 or 13 he's not even six. Well he is getting all kinds of punishments and what have you. So I guess time will tell if it will work or not...

I am getting lousy at this blogging thing... but I have some intriguing ramblings

Anyway I have had a lot of crap go past me the past few days. Our society is so bent... everything is materialistic now all about how much you have and what you can afford.

The human condition is to consume. We as a species are a virus we consume until there is nothing left. Look at our oil issue, experts say that with out current consumption we will be finished in as little as 50 years. I probably won't be around to see it but I will be around to feel the inflation of the price of fuel. Now look at all that is said about the oil reserves etc. does anyone even attempt to make a change for the better? Hell no you only see people consume more. Dump the big SUVs that drive around one tiny person everyday and get something a little smaller with a smaller more economical engine. Oh yes I remember now humans are a virus that consume how silly of me. I understand that some people need a vehicle that can tackle carrying a family of 7. I get that but why do you need to have a seven thousand cubic inch motor to move them? Even the cars these days with the big block V8s in them, good on gas? I don't think so. NASCAR what the fuck is that? people pay to watch some hillbillies waste fuel, how fucking wrong is that?

OK I am betting some of you are thinking yeah that fucker writing this is driving around in a 1977 Cadillac with whale skin hubcaps and baby seal eyes for headlights eating McDonalds cheese burgers in the old fashioned non biodegradable containers (heh heh I love that Dennis Leary rant). Well I drive a 2001 Volkswagon Jetta with the 2.0 litre engine 115 horsepower. I propels me and my family every where we need to go and is plenty fast enough on the road.

Pass me that quart of oil...

Open communication and where it leads...

OK some of you may be aware that I have asked my wife permission to have an affair. Yeah yeah go grow a set dude and just go have one, bite me twice... I don't want to divorce her I just wanted sex more frequently. Anyway once you ask your wife for something like that and she hasn't killed you, you can pretty much say what ever you want when ever you want. So we were driving around and discussing the pros and cons of dating and why affairs happen and what have you. I was talking about the newness of relationships and how it was exciting to get to know someone again and how it was the thrill of the chase that did it for guys. I said that marriages would maybe last longer if the "newness" could stay longer and not disappear after a year or two. She rebutted my argument with an observation that if you had the "newness" of a relationship all the time you'd get tired of that. So I guess the real trick to keeping a relationship alive and well is to evolve as a person aswell as a couple and to continually strive to expand yourself (no that does not mean to start scarfin' down the bon bons). I mean I have interests outside of my wife and she has interests outside of me and you really need to be able to focus on those as well so that you are able to share the excitement and passion you have for an interest. I as a man need to take notice of interests she has and she needs to take notice of mine. If you actively listen to each other and not jsut say yes or "uh huh" at the appropriate time you can make a big impact in your relationship.

I married my wife for a reason. Sometimes I forget that reason and I need to remind myself why I married her. I married her because I could see myself growing old with her. I saw in her someone that would make a wonderfull mother. I saw in her someone who was caring. It's funny, well not really, but most of our "fights" are because I have to put my own selfish needs first. I want sex, I want my sandwich made in a certain way, I want my clothes folded a certain way. I do have to step back and look at what the fight is about and if I really need to fight for it. The only time she ever really stood her ground on a fight was to have our second child. I was pretty against it. I was happy with one.... and I would have been for quite some time but now that my youngest is nearing two he is becoming a lot more fun for me even if he still is a momma's boy....

Blog Fodder

Your Inner Child Is Scared

Like a kid, you tend to shy away from new experiences. You prefer what's tried and true - novelty is scary! New foods, new places, and new friends are difficult for you to deal with. Some say you're predictable, but you enjoy being comfortable.

How Is Your Inner Child?

I find this funny, I wouldn't say I am scared but yeah I like tried and true...

Almost a month....

Well I have been trying to be less attached to my computer lately....

I mean I love my internet friends dearly, but I can't let the internet take away from my family. Most notibly my wife. I was finding that I was searching fro something that was always there for me, just waiting for me to rediscover it. It's funny how you can lose something and still have it sitting right infront of you the whole time.

Ever get that elation of finding something you lost? Like when you were younger and you left the back gate open and you dog ran out and you combed the neighbourhood for hours looking for them. Or when you were a bit older and you lost your report that you spent four weeks writing, on how the dolphins were actually space aliens from another planet they were just amish. The elation of being reunitied with those things after the sinking feeling in you stomach. It does tend to be quite the high.

So for those of you who think you will never get back what once you had. Keep looking and keep working on it. I bet it is there staring you right back in your face.

Ever wonder what lies in your subconcious to make the dreams we have?

Man, I do.

OK so most people I know, know I have quite a few online friends... I'm nerdy what can I say... So anyway, most of these online friends are female... yea I'm an internet stud muffin... Well my wife knows all about them and I talk to her about them and all the trials and tribulations they go through. She is pretty cool about it all and doesn't fret about it she is secure in our relationship as am I, until last night. I totally had the single most upsetting dream I think I have ever had. I was at home or atleast I thought I was at home I was in a bedroom lying on the bed like I normally do, reading a book and in came my wife, well I assume she was my wife she looked like her. Anyway she is all giddy about going out and doing her thing with a friend of hers who happens to be male and asked me for advice on which dress to wear and shows me a very matronly looking one and another that shows wicked cleavage. I am totally blown away by this to the point where I have nothing to say which is friggin odd for me. So I say nothign and she says she is going to wear the wicked cleavage.

Now what the hell am I supposed to read into this? Am I subconciously putting myself in my wife's position relative to my online female friends? Showing myself that I shouldn't have s good friendship with anyone female because I would feel threatened?

I dunno...

blog fodder and odd thoughts

How Will I Die Quiz You will die at the age of 100 You will be killed by Mars aliens as they invade earth Find out how you will die at Quizopolis.com

OK with that out of the way...

So I haven't had a lot to say as of late mostly because I have been burying my head in the sand. Not literaly of course. Have you ever noticed you never realize what your spouse does for you until they take off repeatedly a few nights in a row? No my wife isn't leaving me or boinking another guy she just had a dance class and some meetings to deal with after dinner. So I was left to get he boys ready for dinner.

Ok I started this blog like early in the day and never got around to finishing it. i just came back from my mom's and she gave me yet another treasure from my Gran. A book of poetry by Robert Service. I love it she has a few poems dogeared in it and I think it is a wonderful thing to beable to see what she liked from way back when. It will definately be an interesting read for something quick and thought provoking.

Blog Fodder

I have nothing interesting I wat to write about today...

You Are 56% Nerdy

You may be a bit surprised with this score, but your more of a closet nerd than an actual nerd. Stop denying your inner nerd! You're truly dorkier than you think.

How Nerdy Are You?

Ha ha 69

Your Quirk Factor: 69%

You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal. No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average."

How Quirky Are You?

You Are 85% Tortured Genius

You totally fit the profile of a tortured genius. You're uniquely brilliant - and completely misunderstood. Not like you really want anyone to understand you anyway. You're pretty happy being an island.

Are You a Tortured Genius?

Agravations of mine....

Toys... I hate them, all of them... OK so that is a lie. I love toys and stuff but I like it to be put away more.

Lack of space... With having kids there is no sanctuary for my wife or I. I can't get dressed in the morning with out some one barging in. I can go to the bathroom without some one wandering in... I can't take a shower with out a 20 month old baging on the glass door. I really want my space back...

Patience... I have very little of it and my eldest has less than me. It's almost comical but when I am on my last nerve of the day he'll get a blast from me.

Kids shows... I hate them I hate that they repeat after only 4 hours. I lothe them they suck... there is no Looney Tunes it's all fricken ninja anime crap...

Lack of time... the weekend is just too frikken short... when is my time dammit...

OK so I am tired and cranky and well maybe I am a bit bitchy but these things do piss me off...

Seems like I am king of the fooked up dreams...

OK so another weird dream from the man who has no dreams...

OK so I am some kind of boat maker, like custom crap right. Well OCC, yes Orange Country Choppers gets a hold of me and asks me to collaborate with Pauly to make a amphibious chopper. Like it's just totally unreal right? So anyway they are down at my shop where I make my boats and I have a prominent pro female angler in the shop (no idea who she was I don't even fish myself) so she brings her fishing boat in and it is all hacked up to hell and she says some psycho attacked her with two huge knives by the boat launch. Yeah I know the sensible thing would be to call the police right? It's a dream shaddap. So Pauly and I head out to the boat launch to get the security tapes and we check it and sure enough there is some weirdo sitting at the side of the road by the boat launch with his hands behind his back like he is hiding something. So we go to head up this path through a forest with security tapes in hand, you know cause we wouldn't want to take a freaking car or anything. So the forest is like wicked dark really heavy growth type deal and there is some gate at the top of the hill and it open and we are walking towards it. Well we hear a rustle in the bushes and Pauly pulls out this big assed gun, you now cause he's a crazy American and all. Turns out it is this really cute girl so Pauly starts mackin' on her, I'm all dude we gotta go and shit. Well doesn't he take a freakin knife in the chest from the psycho that was hiding right beside us nearly the whole time. Well cutie freaks out, I never get a real good look at psycho man cause he bolts and I am left with nothing to defend myself except the knife in Pauly's chest which I pull out. Then I calm freaked out chickie down and we are going to continue up the path but now the gate is closed and there is this little kid behind it, so both freaked out chickie and I are yelling at him to open the gate and run to the police station...

I woke up with quite a start to this one... freaked me out a little...

Toys these days, really cool, but they SUCK!

OK one cool thing about having boys is I, as a father, get to "test" the merchandise out. Nothing better than hanging with your son in the toy store. Exclamations of "Dood, check this out!" permeate the air. I am sooooo not like other dads all stick up their ass wearing the black socks with their neatly pressed Dockers scarfing on their Starbucks frappacino half cafe double latte grande mocha latte cappuccino (OK in all honesty I don't know if that drink exists, but it wouldn't surprise me if it does...). Anyway on to my immature behaviour :D My son calls me Dad for the most part and it is a title I wear with pride... most days... unless I am getting checked out by some hotties at the mall then it kinda sucks because I am married with kids but it's still nice to get checked out. And those of you who know me, I do know when I am getting checked out, women are funny when they are checking out a guy. Actually the whole "courting" thing makes me laugh but that is a nother blog. OK back to toys... so anyway when me and the boy are out (he's 5 1/2) checking out the latest wares of Tonka or Hot Wheels he calls me "dood". I like it, it makes me feel like we are more than just father and son... like we are friends which I do hope to cultivate over the next years and well on into his adulthood. So anyway the reason for the trip to the toy store was two fold :D I want a toy too I want a Wii :D and the boy saw some schwag in the flyer that piqued his interest. He had eyes for the Lightning Storm McQueen car and some Tonka stuff and some Transformers (yea baby). I had Transformers as a kid so it was cool to see him take an interest in them... So we check out some Transformers and I talk to him and say well lets check out the Tonka stuff too, you need to make an informed decision of what you want. He couldn't afford the Lightning Storm McQueen soo that was out before we hit the store which he was cool with... oh yeah if you are wondering what I mean by he couldn't afford it, he has a job, he collects the garbage in the house and gets 2 bucks for it 1 of which he has to save and the other he gets to spend how ever he wishes... So he has saved his allowance for like seems like forever, and he's ready to get some schwag for his sweat now. He was all stoked about the Tonka trucks and yeah they are cool and all but I guess the shine sort of wore off them while he was in the store, he just wasn't stoked about them when he saw them. So off we go back to the Transformer display. He saw the motorcycle one and that was a must get and we got some mini ones and a drag racer one. So we we are checking them out and I am "dood check out this one" and he's like "dood this is a wicked one eh?" and on and on it goes. The wife and youngest are looking at us like we are from another planet... well you know what she has a vagina what does she know of Transformers and the youngest is just too damn young to get it. Anyway as we are checking them out I asked him if he wanted bad guys or good guys, ya know Decepticons and Autobots. Well the look on his face, it was priceless, he now had to choose based on good and evil alignments. Well he went with a full Autobot alignment.

So we get checked out and head home. He gets rooked because it's bed time so he can't play, I tell him I'll have them all set up for him for tomorrow, yeah I am a good dad like that. So as I am "transforming" them I see that every piece of them is made of plastic. I am thinking back to when I had Transformers I know they were metal sure they had some plastic parts but the majority of them was di-cast. I found it really disappointing, like it can't cost that much more to make them in di-cast, can it? So I mention it to the woman in our lives and she recalls her brother having di-cast Transformers too... so my suspicions are confirmed. So come on Hasbro get your collective asses in gear and get some good high quality toys out there stop with the cheap assed plastic shit, make some good father and son quality toys and stop yanking your pud.

No more chips and dip just before bed...

OK so I am not one to remember dreams at all... ever.

So I wake up early this morning from a really weird dream, like really weird. I went over to a friends place to visit them. He had a bunch of people over playing XBox 360 and another one of my friends was hanging in his room watching TV, so I went in to talk with him about life the universe and what have you. Well a few minutes roll by and I am engrossed in the movie he is watching so I stay there for a bit and he bails for one reason or another. Then this asian hottie wheels into his room and sits down on the bed beside me, I go to get up and she plants a kiss on me and pushes me back down on the bed. I see of all people and online friend looking through the door at us. I finally pushed her, the girl kissing me, off of me. I looks down and I see I am missing a sock and my shirt is untucked. So anyway I find my sock under the bed how it got there is a mystery tuck in my shirt and I head out to where everyone is. Well My Godmother lays into me about infidelity and crap like that well that jsut pisses me off and I yell at her about talking about what she doesn't know. I pretty much get all pissed off with everyone there because they all think I am some cheating prick. So I bail and head home with the intention of telling Dianna what happened.

Geez and people wonder why I don't go anywhere without my wife...

Anyone want to analyze that?

Is the grass greener?

Late night discussions with friends always end up sparking some kind of thoughts in me. I am very happy in my marriage and I am usually very proactive with any issues that may arise within it. I am very open with my thoughts and feelings with my wife and I am very open with all the goings on of my online life with her. She's not a 'net junkie like I am but I share pretty much everything with her. She knows who my online friends are and will often sit beside me and read while I engage in a chat with one or more of my friends.

Anyway a discussion with one friend lead to the topic of the "newness" of a relationship, you know the giddiness of finding the special someone. The anticipation of their phone call. The way the sound of their voice makes your heart soar with delight. That ever so crucial first kiss, I don't mean the kiss goodnight on a first date, that first spontaneous kiss that shoots fireworks through your mind, the kiss that all but debilitates your ability to stand upright.

It's funny we go through the whole dating rituals and what have you to find the perfect mate and we, well at least I, have the thoughts of missing "the chase". Don't take my thoughts the wrong way I love my wife and I love my home life and wouldn't want to change that. It's just that sometimes, and I am sure it happens to plenty of people, that you miss the fire, passion and lust of a new relationship. I mean you see the same person naked day in and day out. You see them at their worst and as time goes on it seems like their worst is the best they get. I guess it all comes down to comfort levels and as you live together longer and longer the comfort levels get greater and greater and you show your spouse more and more of the "living at home" you. I know I am guilty of it and so is my wife.

Then thinking further down the road I am left with thoughts of "what ifs". What if my marriage did fail would I even bother to find another mate? Would they be just a girlfriend or would marriage come into play again? Would I be inclined to even let someone in my life again? Would they be willing to even come in with all the idiosyncrasies I have developed over the years? Would they be as accepting as my wife is now? Would they tolerate my external relationships? Would they be as trusting?

So although my lawn has some weeds and isn't as green as some, it's still soft enough for me to lie on and bask in the glow of the love of my wife. I just need to remember to fertilize it regularly and maybe teach her to do the same...

Vomit....

Such a lovely word...

It really is...

My poor little guy is suffering bad. He's got some kind of stomache bug and it's been with him for nearly 2 days now. He was sick all day Sunday and just listless. He threw up twice, which means Dianna and I had to clean it up twice. It breaks my heart to see him lie on a couch for an entire day when I know that is not how he is. He perked up about 7pm yesterday when he saw the youngest and me playing, so he joined in the fun. He hasn't been sleeping well either, he gets up really early and will climb in to bed with me and will attempt to snuggle for about 30 minutes or so then wants to watch TV.

So today rolls around and he feels OK and eats an OK breakfast by his standards. So off to school we go. Well we stopped for lunch and all he'll touch is the pop. No appetite... So he seemed OK no puking or anything so that's a plus over yesterday. Anyway we took off from the office early and he's taking a nap on the couch right now, so I know he isn't feeling well. Took his temp and he's running a low grade fever 100 which is pretty high for him because normal temperature for him is about 96-97.

Anyway I'll let him sleep and see how he is in about an hour or so.

Mall people

OK so yeah it sounds like a bad B movie title. But honestly I have no idea how people can exist in that comatose state. I mena how can you be completely unaware of your suroundings that you stop mid stride in the middle of the hallway on a Saturday. Well excuse me I need to get past you, you fuck! I mena get over yourself and scoot your mangy ass over to the side. I have to stop so I don't lose my shoe up your ass and in doing so I get rearended by the yuppy bitch in the peg perego stroller as she talks on her cell phone drinking her Starbucks frappe completely ignoring the kid burried under the mounds of baby Gap blankets. Then what is with the out and out friggin weirdos, no I don't mean teens that have a goth afliction or the permanent bed head that is all the rage or even the teens that are one step away from looking like hookers. I mean the 40 somethign guys wandering around in boots that would make an Eskimo sweat in the arctic. I swera I saw this dude who looked like he was trekking the vast empty tundras of the antarctic. He had on a parka, touque, gloves big honking boots. The only thing he was missing was the flippin ski goggles. Oh and don't forget the gigantic backpack he was carting and the two grocery bags, one in each hand. To top off the whole mental image complete blank stare like the man was devoid of all conciousness. I mean holy crap what a flippin day at the mall...

So as if I didn't get enough of people on Saturday, I head out to the auto show on Sunday. Frig, I love the the show but dang the walking and the people... I am amazed that people take young kids to it. it took me like 7 hours to do the whole thing and there is no way I could do it with my boy in that time. I mean we were booking through some diplays and what have you... Anyway it was crowded but I didin't run into any of the freaks and complete idiots that seem to inhabit the malls.

So in conclusion I doubt that I will ever set foot into a Mall on a Saturday again... Saturdays at malls suck royally...

More Blog Fodder

Your Porn Star Name Is...

Captain Winky

What's Your Porn Star Name?

You Should Rule Saturn

Saturn is a mysterious planet that can rarely be seen with the naked eye. You are perfect to rule Saturn because like its rings, you don't always follow the rules of nature. And like Saturn, to really be able to understand you, someone delve beyond your appearance. You are not an easy person to befriend. However, once you enter a friendship, you'll be a friend for life. You think slowly but deeply. You only gain great understanding after a situation has past.

What Planet Should You Rule?

Ha ha my soul looks like it has boogers up it's nose....

OK so I have been pretty busy lately with painting the kids bathroom. It looks nice but we need to accesorize and junk maybe get some photos up and make it a little more ocean like. I like the colour it's very wow kinda colour not as blue as i was hoping for but a good colour none the less. I am also pleased with my paint job too...

maybe I'll post a pic up here some day. Now I am off to work on the upstairs hall. I need to do all the trim first and get that looked after... then on to the walls... I never realized how much painteing there was to be done in the house....

Oh I just thought I should make those that read this that I will no longer be posting anythign about my book here. I have made a new blog specifically for that....

My Soul?

Meh a stupid five question quiz to add more fluff to my blog...

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You believe that people see you for how you are, not how you look. But deep down, you know that's not exactly true. Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

What defines a parent?

Ok I have thought about this for a lot over the last 24 hours. My littlest was nasty ill last night. Like huge spewage and copious amounts of liquid poo. Any I was thinking am I a good parent? I mean I can be short tempered with both my kids and sometimes I can simply be no fun at all for them. I have a tendancy to hide behind a book sometimes or stay at work really really late and only see them for like an hour before they go to bed. However, I do think I am still a good parent.

I was listening to my youngest cry last night and it was kind of that whine cry they give you to see if you'll come rescue them when they don't want to go to sleep. Then he hit the "I'm hurt and I am in pain" cry and it was on. Wifey was sleeping and she had the boys all day and was up early with him so I let her sleep. I head out to the little man's bedroom and he's standing in the crib so I go to pick him up and he drapes himself over me, which is so not his MO. It took all of 30 seconds before he covered my shoulder and back in his evening bottle of milk. it looked like feta cheese. So I think well I'm covered in puke and well I'm not really upset. Normally you get puked on by some one you get upset. I think a good parent doesn't mind getting puked on so much sure it's gross and all and you are still thinking eeeewww but you never show that. So here I am stinking of puke and holding a little guy that is quite upset with what transpired he's covered in puke and I am just consoling him trying to get him to settle down.

Well in any event I things like that are what define a good parent. How you deal with adversity like vomit and liquid poo and what ever else the little buggers can do. I know I don't deal well with my own bodily fluids and I certainly could never be a doctor but for some reason when it has to do with my kids it doesn't seem that bad...

Holy snow, Batman

The snows coming down pretty hard today. We've been hit with about 8 inches of snow, and it's all powder, and the wind is blowing. The drive in to work really sucked this morning, it was really slow, and the roads were filled with morons. I did have one laugh though on the way into work. I saw one of those bad ass Dodge pickup trucks, you know the type 20 inch rims, low-profile tires, short bed. It was a really nice pickup truck until I saw the goofy little logo on the side of it. It had a little black and yellow engine with a stupid little wings out of it. And underneath that little logo it had the words "rumble bee" written underneath it. Just something that really made me laugh as I drove in to work.

My Monday

So Monday morning rolls around, I awake too queasy feeling in my stomach. I managed to get up and go about my regular business. Take the boy to school and make my way in to work. I sit at my desk for about an hour and a half, huge waves of nausea are affecting every aspect of my being. Finally, it explodes and everything comes up. Well, I feel much better after that and off I go to pick my son up from school. We stopped off at the local McDonald's to get him some lunch. I opt out of the greasy spoon food, as I'm still not 100%. We drive back to the office, and I am suddenly hit with waves of tiredness and I feel extremely weak. I let the boy finishes lunch, and even though he didn't want to go back home we left or right after that.

On the drive home it was all I could do to stay awake. We made it back to the house, and I told Thomas that he was to leave me alone as I really needed to have a nap. But he would be able to come and talk to me if he really needed some help doing something. Thomas let me how about a two hour nap without any interruptions, which I was extremely grateful for. He came bounding into my bedroom at about 3 p.m., proud as can be. He was quite pleased that he was able to get himself up plate and some leftover french fries, he also got to catch up out of the fridge and made himself a little snack of cold french fries. Not my idea of a great snack, but he was very proud of himself for doing that on his own. Well by this time I was awake so I decided to go downstairs and rest on the couch. He came to visit me at the couch and that every 30 minutes just to make sure that I was okay, or if I needed anything. It made me quite happy is a parent to see my little son acting like such a grown up. I am quite proud of my little boy, just as I am sure I will be proud of my second son when he grows up. It's little things like this that really kind of warm your heart and make you glad that you have children.

Man, hat's off to single parents...

OK so I have been picking up my little guy the past few days and I have also been dealing with my oldest at the same time too on some of those days as well. Well Last night was one of those days...

So I figure OK I have both kids I am picking them up late got to get something quick right? McDonalds it is. So anyway I go to the one near the house so the food will be hot when he get there the boys are behaving well so all is good. Right up until the idiot in the gigantic SUV it in front of us. The McD's is one of those drive throughs that have two ordering lanes and well this moron of a human being is stopped infront of both flippin lanes! I mean sure it was busy and the line up didn't allow her to move right away but that is not the time to reorganize you change in your ashtray you are in a fast food drive through pay attention and friggen move when you have room to do so. A friggen eternity goes by while she fucks about in her SUV, which by the way she chould barely see over the steering wheel. Anyway I finally get home and serve the kids their meals and it wasn't too bad of an evening with the two of them but dang I really wish I could hide from the two of them for a few moments. I just want time to go to the bathroom in peace ya know? Nothing quite like going to the bathroom when you have some one banging on the door asking me what I am doing or simply wailing because they can't get through the door. Tough! The door was created by adult for a reason kids figure it out...

Anyway I totally tip my hat to anyone who has to do the parenting thing on their own. It's a tough gig when you have a substitute to fill in for you but when you are both offence and defence with no players witing on the bench to fill in that's a tough gig. I mena my mom did it on her own for a bit but I was the youngest and I was 10 at that time so we were pretty self sufficient.

Anyway I am out once more

Well, well, well, well...

Dealing with kids is getting different. My littlest is well... strong willed... OK well he's the demon child that Satan didn't want... but he's really cute...

OK well here goes he is more of a doer than my oldest was. He doesn't communicate much and when he does it's not always clear so he gets pissed off and starts wailing about this, that and the other. I love the little guy but he has been just killing me as of late. He is so demanding and needs full attention all the time. I am trying to cook dinner and he is pushing me out of the kitchen and yes an 18 month old is strong enough to do it. He's my little hulk baby. He seems to cling to whomever picks him up at the daycare for the night. He can be a very sweet kid with lots of giggles and smiles but when he has to do something he doesn't want to do, lookout 'cause the fury within will be without in no time. He is also much louder than my oldest too. I know I am not supposed to compare kids and stuff like that but how do you really stop?

Anyway I am going to pick up the little man again tonight and it will be just him and I for a while as the eldest and wife have a dentist appointment.

I would still love to be a stay at home dad and not have to work even though the little buggers get to me some days. I think it would make me much more active as I would have to keep the boys busy and well lets face it they kids think I am their own personal portable playground...

T out!

And the cold rages on...

Well maybe raging isn't appropriate but it is still lingering... I am still stuffy and some what miserable... my poor family. But everyone knows that no one can be as sick as a man with a head cold...

Well I am continuing along with my J.K. Rowling marathon I am on to the sixth book for the third time :) I believe I have read them in succession at least twice so this should be the third time. I am looking forward to the final chapter in the series. It will be bittersweet I think as even though it is technically a children's story very few other stories have captured the imagination like it. I find that I a really looking forward to the upcoming movies and how they adapt so much into a film that can be seen in one sitting.

I have been thinking a lot on my own novel and if it will ever come to fruition... I think I just need the discipline to sit and write which admittedly I am lacking right now as I have so many other distractions at the moment. Well that and my drive can be waning at times... well most of the time... fourth child syndrome I guess...

Anyway I am off to blow my nose for the ninety seventh time today...

Later...

UGH!!!!

Well got my second cold of the season. I am miserable....

Why is it that as soon as you get motivated to start doing some good things something pops up and puts up a road block for you... I mean I was just getting on the exercising band wagon again and BAM I get a cold which makes it near impossible to breathe. I was just going to get working on the basement and well hammering and cutting ain't going to happen with a head cold.

Time to hit the orange juice big time me thinks...

Trying to do more...

Well I started working around the house on Sunday. I have a lot of projects i want to do. Dianna is gently prodding me, not though words but through actions which I am OK with, she knows not to nag me :).

Anyway, I got a huge curtain rod put up yesterday for some decorative drapes in the living room... Need to think of something for the Dining room, probably the same look but different drape colour... I dunno... I also took down the horrible wall and door I put up in the basement. It really looked like crap and the door didn't hang right, so down it came...

I need to look at doing some other stuff around the house like paint the boys bathroom and the upstairs hall too. Then I can hang some photos and stuff too :)

I need to exercise tonight too, I haven't since Friday... bad me...

It's funny though the more you do, the more time you find to do it in... I always thought I had no time to do anything... I think TV is to blame... yeah TV that's it... it has nothing to do with me being lazy with a laptop permanently attached to my fingers... I need to limit my 'net time I can get much more done :)

Well I excercised last night...

Not too much but enought thta I feel it today. I hadn't done anything since before Christmas so I was looking a little pudgy :) well not really but I felt like I was.

Funny thing was I have had a bad shoulder for a long time now and it was getting better when I was exercising regularly or atleast it seemed to be. I stopped and it is a constant ache that has been getting worse. Hopefully I will see some improvement in it within the next week or two...

Soooo anyway what else is going on with me...

Not much lol it's all about my kiddos :) Eldest went skating today and got into a grade one reading class earlier this week. Youngest cut an additional tooth (yea we are up to 2 now) and it looks like it won't be long for two more. He is also saying a few more words his speach hasn't developed as quick as the eldest did but youngest is more of a doer than a thinker...

Very different kids that's for sure

meh...

OK I thought I was going to start a new blog and categorize things and to all kinds of wonderfull things. Well that was nothing but greif, for starters with the "new" blogger I can't import my old posts which irritates me, kind of unfair don't you think blogger people? Granted I am not the most blogg savvy person out there but it bugs me anyway... And I don't like it one bit :P

So anyway I have cool news! My little guy has been bumped into a special reading class where he reads with some grade ones and he says it's a really cool time and he has fun :) I am going to reward him too :) we are going to take a trip to the toy store and get him something to show how proud I am of his progress.

New Year has come and gone...

Well it is the begining of another year.

Makes me feel old to see the years going faster and faster. I know it's all just a perception of reality and that time is a constant. Just that each year becomes a smaller portion of your over all life. I sometimes wonder if I will get the chance do complete all the things I would like to in my life time...

I really should sit down one day and write out what things I would like to do, I mean what really matters to me. Sure seeing your kids grow up healthy and happy and get married and have kids is a given. I am still mulling over the thoughts in my head regarding a novel I want to write. I don't know if I have the discipline to see it through, I get side tracked so easily it seems these days...

Happy New Year

Well another year has past...

You know what I don't feel any different. I still have the same fears i always had, they are just a little bit more numb than usual due to the copious amounts of booze I have forced down my gullet in an effort to give everyone the idea that I am a carefree spirit with the same hopes and joys that they have for the new year to come. There is no big change coming there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow....

Just the same old same old that we always did before. I guess that's what makes us a sentient being that we have hope even though we know the game stays the same unless we make some drastic changes to the rules....