Open communication and where it leads...

OK some of you may be aware that I have asked my wife permission to have an affair. Yeah yeah go grow a set dude and just go have one, bite me twice... I don't want to divorce her I just wanted sex more frequently. Anyway once you ask your wife for something like that and she hasn't killed you, you can pretty much say what ever you want when ever you want. So we were driving around and discussing the pros and cons of dating and why affairs happen and what have you. I was talking about the newness of relationships and how it was exciting to get to know someone again and how it was the thrill of the chase that did it for guys. I said that marriages would maybe last longer if the "newness" could stay longer and not disappear after a year or two. She rebutted my argument with an observation that if you had the "newness" of a relationship all the time you'd get tired of that. So I guess the real trick to keeping a relationship alive and well is to evolve as a person aswell as a couple and to continually strive to expand yourself (no that does not mean to start scarfin' down the bon bons). I mean I have interests outside of my wife and she has interests outside of me and you really need to be able to focus on those as well so that you are able to share the excitement and passion you have for an interest. I as a man need to take notice of interests she has and she needs to take notice of mine. If you actively listen to each other and not jsut say yes or "uh huh" at the appropriate time you can make a big impact in your relationship.

I married my wife for a reason. Sometimes I forget that reason and I need to remind myself why I married her. I married her because I could see myself growing old with her. I saw in her someone that would make a wonderfull mother. I saw in her someone who was caring. It's funny, well not really, but most of our "fights" are because I have to put my own selfish needs first. I want sex, I want my sandwich made in a certain way, I want my clothes folded a certain way. I do have to step back and look at what the fight is about and if I really need to fight for it. The only time she ever really stood her ground on a fight was to have our second child. I was pretty against it. I was happy with one.... and I would have been for quite some time but now that my youngest is nearing two he is becoming a lot more fun for me even if he still is a momma's boy....