Is the grass greener?

Late night discussions with friends always end up sparking some kind of thoughts in me. I am very happy in my marriage and I am usually very proactive with any issues that may arise within it. I am very open with my thoughts and feelings with my wife and I am very open with all the goings on of my online life with her. She's not a 'net junkie like I am but I share pretty much everything with her. She knows who my online friends are and will often sit beside me and read while I engage in a chat with one or more of my friends.

Anyway a discussion with one friend lead to the topic of the "newness" of a relationship, you know the giddiness of finding the special someone. The anticipation of their phone call. The way the sound of their voice makes your heart soar with delight. That ever so crucial first kiss, I don't mean the kiss goodnight on a first date, that first spontaneous kiss that shoots fireworks through your mind, the kiss that all but debilitates your ability to stand upright.

It's funny we go through the whole dating rituals and what have you to find the perfect mate and we, well at least I, have the thoughts of missing "the chase". Don't take my thoughts the wrong way I love my wife and I love my home life and wouldn't want to change that. It's just that sometimes, and I am sure it happens to plenty of people, that you miss the fire, passion and lust of a new relationship. I mean you see the same person naked day in and day out. You see them at their worst and as time goes on it seems like their worst is the best they get. I guess it all comes down to comfort levels and as you live together longer and longer the comfort levels get greater and greater and you show your spouse more and more of the "living at home" you. I know I am guilty of it and so is my wife.

Then thinking further down the road I am left with thoughts of "what ifs". What if my marriage did fail would I even bother to find another mate? Would they be just a girlfriend or would marriage come into play again? Would I be inclined to even let someone in my life again? Would they be willing to even come in with all the idiosyncrasies I have developed over the years? Would they be as accepting as my wife is now? Would they tolerate my external relationships? Would they be as trusting?

So although my lawn has some weeds and isn't as green as some, it's still soft enough for me to lie on and bask in the glow of the love of my wife. I just need to remember to fertilize it regularly and maybe teach her to do the same...